Monthly Archives: March 2011

this is how I want to touch you

This is how it looks this morning: new bumps on my hand where the stitches used to be, bright and cleansing tea steeping, a quiet girl resting inside a sleepy woman. I’m doing everything but focusing on this blog this morning — today is that day: a day for embodied discombobulation with no blame, shame or guilt.

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Got to do a very fun, quick-n-dirty erotic letter writing class last night (right before Rain DeGrey did her Strap-On demo class!), thanks to to the folks at Femina Potens and Mission Control! We spent a few minutes talking about why anyone might write a sexy letter: Continue reading

what if your body is precious?

graffiti of tiger; photo taken so that the tiger looks like it's behind iron barsAll the things from the writing ourselves whole workshop office are now landed around my home — the pen cup is on the desk, the small timing clock is in my bag, the candle is on the home altar, the purple hanging that reads “Your body is precious / It is your vehicle for awakening / Treat it with care” lives inside the front door, across from the altar.

It is late and there is never enough time — tomorrow there will be more.

So I’m doing this work to be more present in my body, to inhabit what has felt uninhabitable, what has felt untrustworthy, what has felt unworthy of living (in) — working with a somatic therapist, paying attention (with as much curiosity as I can muster) to the triggers I still live in and shape myself around and asking about their wisdom, what stories they have to offer … paying attention to what I put into my body and then how I feel after. Another part of the work/joy, then, too, doing the things that this body likes to do: dancing, walking, singing, writing, reading-while-walking.

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what’s coming up — and no regrets

It’s a quiet quiet morning here at this new place — the seabreeze has calmed, quieted, and even the trees are still.

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Here’s what’s coming up!

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walking with helplessness

graffiti of a woman holding a loaf of bread and a boquet of rosesEarly in the morning, and I am getting back to work — AT&T finally allowed us to get our internet access setup at home yesterday, after being here for almost two weeks. I’m grateful to be back at my desk with you.

I wake up with a feeling of dread, and then as I thought this morning, also of utter helplessness — like nothing I can do will change what’s happening, what’s coming.

What about that feeling of helplessness that lies on the other side of terror?
I pull a couple of motherpeace cards this morning (from an incomplete deck), and I get a 6 of discs (Generosity, healing others) and 6 of swords (Clarity. Tough but right decision, understanding consequences & necessity).

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