extra:ordinary – creating safe haven

(So many thanks to Crystal Loya for our next extra:ordinary project story (stories from our community of our recovery, resistance and resilience). Find out more about Crystal’s work at https://www.facebook.com/theladieswiththe.scars)

I myself being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by a family member experienced first hand what life would be with no support in recovery after a traumatic situation. As a child at the age of eight as I lay in my bed sleeping before the following day of school I was awoken to a hand touching my body. Not being close to my mother and experiencing emotional abuse from her I had no were to turn. As the abuse progressed I was so scared as a child to speak out about the sexual abuse I kept to myself in fear of what else would be done to me. One day after coming out to my mother about the sexual abuse that was tacking place by an older sibling, the whole situation tore the family completely apart. There were no more family events, no talks about how to deal and the abuse had no fix, then come to find out other family members had been sexually abused by the same person. There was no help in our family home, and due to the lack of communication there was no healing as a family. At the age of fourteen I left home began employment and began to cross obstacles and the healing process alone, I never looked for comfort in my family nor did I ever see my violator again.. Being so young I had no clue how to even get help once I got older. At the age of seventeen I vowed to open a non profit one day to help survivors and children of sexual abuse. The safe haven would make individuals more aware of the American Statistical Association by the U.S department of justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. I will follow out the plan for the five year goal that includes a safe haven for women and in the future an opening for male survivors. Childhood victims increase every year I will use my degree to pursue the safe haven and child sexual abuse.

(Want to share your story of resilience and resistance? See the call for contributions here!)

4 responses to “extra:ordinary – creating safe haven

  1. We can never have enough safe havens in the world. I hope you eventually find such a place inside yourself and I am so thankful that you have the desire and drive to create such a place for others.
    Thank you.
    Much love,

  2. Kelly, thank you so much for your comment. Here’s to Safe Havens for all who seek them. Be easy with you, ok?

  3. When I was a young girl, I needed a Safe Haven. I was in the same boat as you. I understand all the struggle and hardships you went through. I would like to thank you so much for posting this. I am older now and I am starting to under go treatement and therpy for my past. This post helped me understand that there are other people who went through the same thing. We aren’t alone.
    We are all in the same Safe Haven now.


    Only I knew it arouse from the boulders, as the fog crept through the gloomy dew.
    Traces of a battle of good and evil almost if the day not to be brand new.
    The bitter sweet sound of silence even as a filthy locomotive came into town,
    Creeping around the corner hiding behind shadows so that it isn’t seen or found.
    It’s frame full of demons and spic but yet it remains so sincere.
    The sound of the train as it chugs along,
    every time it whistles, a blind deceiving song.
    Running a rage forcing it’s self around every turn,
    the innocence of every curve.
    Beneath that track a sunflower grew even through the torture of the caboose, the flower would stand the roots never to come a loose.
    In the dark memories of living in tortuous themes of the forceful train hitting the leaves, the flowers seed still survived.
    Year after year growing never really knowing, when will the sun brighten before the horizon and that phenomenal gardener find this elegant and yet so peaceful flower?
    The tracks broke one day as a whisper came through the wind,
    It was a rare voice introducing bravery as a new best friend.
    Indeed accepted as hunger flowed through the seed of the flower now feeling as though it has some unique special power,
    days and nights the sunflower now shines through it ALL the petals are full and stem stands so tall.
    For the Lilac Roses and Lilies that never got to blossom
    the Gardenias and the Daisy’s that went crazy forced by that wicked caboose, and the seeds that were crushed that NEVER got to grow, here is to the FUTURE, that their petals never got to unfold.
    Here’s to the innocence that was unrightfully took that cannot be replanted.