Tag Archives: gratitude

a new memorial day

This is a write from last night’s Write Whole workshop — as a prompt, in light of it being Memorial Day, I asked us to consider what or who we’d like to have a whole day to remember or recognize:

I want the entire country to come to a stand still in recognition and honoring of all of us–the ones who wear the breath of baited battle, the ones who got shoved open for our mother’s enemy, the ones who learned too hard to slam shut.

I want banks to close, for tellers and secretaries to type up and print out little signs on plain white paper that get taped up to the insides of office doors, signs that read: “We will be closed in remembrance of all those who have been affected by sexual violence.”  More than fifty percent of the staff will recognize it as their own personal holiday.  Another quarter or third will wonder why they’re so sad, but won’t remember.

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Stewardship: a whole new possibility

this is a bit from my Writing Ourselves Whole newsletter for November:

Trauma Stewardship book coverLast month, I attended a day-long training on Trauma Stewardship, with Laura van Dernoot Lipsky (this training was hosted by the Domestic Violence Coalition, CUAV and the Asian Women’s Shelter — thank you so much!). Here’s what I want to tell you: there’s not anyone I know who wouldn’t benefit from the ideas and the possibility that Laura (and her coauthor Connie Burke) offer in this training, and the corresponding book. Although it’s written primarily with those who work with survivors of trauma in mind, what I know is that all of the communities I participate in are traumatized right now, and so nearly all of us are going to experience trauma exposure response — which means we could be doing trauma stewardship.

As someone who has come up with every reason there is not to take care of myself (too busy, too guilty, too tired, not as bad off as others, etc — you know these, don’t you?), I’ve been in need of a change for at least a year (some might say longer), and couldn’t figure out how to make space in my life for self-care. And often, I couldn’t honestly believe that I deserved it.

In her introduction, Laura says this about the book (Trauma Stewardship: An everyday guide to caring for self while caring for others), and about the ideas of trauma Stewardship as a different way to walk with the work we’re doing in this world: Continue reading

Poem for the day: I shall be released (Kevin Young)

Thanks to the Poetry Daily weekly newsletter that directed me to this extraordinary poem from Kevin Young:

I shall be released


What we love
will leave us

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Aural Alignments

Yesterday it felt like all the mercury retrograde hit me at one time — bracelets broke, folders spilled all over the back of the car when I was trying to get to work early, items got misplaced and were unfindable, and at my primary work gig, I found myself feeling deeply out of place and on the wrong path entirely.

Mostly I manged to stay in a decent mood, going with the rather ragged (at least to this conscious brain) flow — there have been plenty of bad days, bad mood days, sad days recently, and I didn’t want to have another one. Still, by day’s end, I felt in need of a deep spiritual chiropractic adjustment. I was all achy inside, weird and out of sorts. I had a mostly non-dinner, started watching old monty python sketches on youtube, walked to the laundromat for quarters so I could do laundry, then turned on the tv to distract myself even further.

I watched tv for maybe 7 minutes then went into the bathroom to do manicure-ish things, turned on the radio which was tuned to KQED, and a voice was saying, “I have to read the old ones first because people seem to want me to …” and a little more and then the voice was reading “Wild Geese.” It was Mary Oliver, reading her own work, and I turned and rested against the sink and just listened. I let myself cry, get into the rhythm and the possibility of poetry, and was thankful.

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Podcast Answers – Day 7: How facilitating the workshops has changed my own writing?

About a month ago, I committed to posting longer, more well-thought-out answers to the questions that Britt Bravo posed to me during our Arts and Healing Network podcast conversation. Here’s my answer for day seven!

7. How has [facilitating] the workshops changed your own writing?

Metal cursive courage
I think the most important impact that the workshops have had on my own work is an encouragement to be more, and more consistently, brave.
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Community and remembrances

(a slightly longer version of this got posted on my livejournal — katasutra.livejournal.com)

Thank you, Kathleen — thanks to your love and your consistent spirit and to the ways you have affected my life, without my even knowing it.

Yesterday was Kathleen Bolton’s memorial service, and one of the things I’d like to spend some time writing about community — community in all its bigness and struggle and frustration & magnificence. There’s been a community sustaining me here in the bay area since I moved here, though I’ve felt on the outside. There’s a community of family & the dearest of friends forged over the past two decades (and then some, I suppose, with respct to the blood family, huh?) that I’m only just now, maybe, allowing to filter into the hardened-est, most vulnerable edges of my heart. The community that showed up here in SF for the Body Heat show just about tore my heart out, it was so gorgeous and celebratory — and then the communities we got to touch into as we crossed the country: San Diego, Minneapolis, Columbia, Columbus, Easthampton, Boston, Providence, Philly, D.C., Atlanta — even those we didn’t meet directly (Milwaukee, Asheville and the folks listening to Diana Cage’s radio show there in the morning’s wee hours) — the love and support was deep and present and nearly unquestioned.

And ok, sure — sometimes, for survivor girl over here, it’s hard to trust, to believe in, that kind of presence of spirit and appreciation, that unadulterated love, that faith & yes there was trust — the kind that offers food and home to strangers, the kind that shows up to listen and offers cheers, the kind that welcomed us at each and every stop (truly).

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Three snaps up for the Phase 1!

(who remembers what that means, even … am I just dating myself? :)

So much love to all the folks at D.C.’s Phase 1 (“oldest lesbian bar on the east coast!”) for welcoming and treating Body Heat so kindly! We had the fiercest kind of love for & from y’all, esp. given that this was our first show with our Celestina back (no pun intended there, folks…)!

Angela, Kris & all the rest of y’all — thank you thank you thank you. The Phase opened specially on a Wednesday night, just for our show, and we hope it was more than worth it! V. got to come home into the loving arms of friends & community — it’s just what we need as we’re pushing down through into the final two shows!

Much love and many thanks, too, to the folks at the Tritone in Philly! We had an intimate and dear crowd, many of whom stuck around after the show to chat us up and make offers some of us found difficult to refuse… :)

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Oh — the Pi is my new home…

… or could be.

It’s 2:30am and we have to be on the road at 7, and still…

What a show — so so many thanks to Shannon Blowtorch & Tara & Bennie at the Pi Bar. PEOPLE — when you’re in Minneapolis, get you to the Pi Bar. An amazing performance venue/bar/restaurant & music that will not let you get off the floor if the dancing is happening. Thank you Annie for the goodie bag!

Thank you Blowtorch & T. for the quarters & hospitality & tunes!

The Pi & the Twin-Cities Femme Mafia hosted V & I tonight for the third leg of the Body Heat tour — Kathleen rested her ailing self for one more day and so we brought her CD & her words, as we did with Celestina’s — we miss you both!

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Body Heat melts the snow

I’m writing to you from Vail, CO, where we were SNOWED IN last night (I-70 closed & highway patrol directing folks off the road at 1am). Fresh! helped finagle us a room in a hotel& spa, so though we’re not terribly rested, we’re at least clean and good-smelling! :)

We had a small show in San Diego at this wicked cute sex shoppe, The Rubber Rose, and it was beautiful! Now we’re pushing through our second long long day of driving, from Colorado to Missouri. We were supposed to stay at my dad’s place last night, just outside of Denver, but were thwarted by the weather goddess. The pass is open now though, and so we can get back on the road. Maybe we will be able to see my dad the interstate just for a hug… :)

Incredible scenery yesterday, and the kinds of conversations you can only have in the car.

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