is protection safety?

stencil graffiti: the night conceals the world / but reveals the universesix forty-two means I need to be in the shower in 10 minutes. 8, really.

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Small and fun erotic reading circle last night — I love getting that monthly connection with the center for sex and culture! Next ERC’s on July 27th, 7:30pm.

Also! I am asking for your help in raising funds so that I can attend the upcoming Tomales Bay Workshop (I was accepted into Dorothy Allison’s workshop, which is a dream come true:

And! I am loving my online Reclaiming Our Erotic Story workshop, and am learning much that I can use during my next online venture!

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Here’s what I’m thinking about today:

what does protection mean to you? or safety? are they related?

yesterday, she asked me about protection, about knowing that people have my back, about letting someone have my back.

I said that when someone says they’re going to protect me, that’s when I get nervous, given that it’s never been the case — and most of the time, when someone was supposed to protect me, their protection was a spectacular failure, or required some specific and terrible payment in return.

This makes these things difficult: being in community, being a deep ally, allowing others to be ally themselves to me. True friendship means exchange, means trust, means not just saying, I’ll be there for you, means also, I’ll let you be there for me.

So we worked with this idea. It’s still jangling around inside me.

What about for you? 10 minutes (or 15) and begin with either, “This is what protection means…” or “This is what I want protection to mean…” (or she, or you, or they want protection to mean…)

Thank you for the ways you stretch, bend, open the places that have learned only closed. Thank you for your grace and always for your words.

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